feeling extremely melancholic now, i thought, its time to blog here again!
i've been on hiatus for a long time, i realise. over here. that's cos i have a journal, remember.
dont really have something serious to say here, just feeling a little tired and bored and everything put together. just want to have someone to talk to but in the end i will realise i dont really know how to put my thoughts across. its just frustrating but its something that's beyond me. totally.
really have no idea what's making me do this but i guess its the loneliness. work sucks too. i dont want to work at all..when school starts, its just going to be about me, me and more of me. school work and school work and more of school work. im not really interested in relationships now.just want to get over the past, get my two degree (preferably with upper class honours) and start work. boyfriends and all can come later. im really pretty tired of committments and strings and all those. work committment is one. sigh
life isnt fair. life isnt easy. who says growing up is easy? its really abt bearing the pain you arent accustomed to, i've been overprotected in the past. now that im all alone and independent, its time to face the reality and start thinking on my feet. no more sweet honeymoon my dear, life's a rollercoaster. its gonna take alot out of you so let's just say i'll give my best.
come what may - im really tired to even think of the pain.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Shrek 3 Trailer
heehee i watched the trailer while i was in the cinema too. OH MY its going to be really funny - cant wait x) i've watched shrek 1 and 2 for so many times i've lost count (just like how i lost count of the number of times i watched lord of the rings, hee) the MUST WATCH OF ALL CARTOONS!
Pirates of the Caribbean 3 - At World's End Trailer
I CANT WAIT FOR THE MOVIE TO BE OUT! the trailer was awesome (the "welcome to singapore" did the trick) and i really hope it would be the best of the three parts so far. caught the trailer while i was in the theatres for Spiderman 3 (which was equally good too!) i was pretty hyped up during the movie with all those action and fighting stuff, though whatever happened to harry osbourne was sad. he was a like new found idol for awhile. but anyway i really like the movie cos it really talks alot abt life and stuff. like how revenge is a venom and how weak man really is. spiderman isnt invincible; he's just like us.
i totally strayed from the point in this entry. hahaha PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN IS A MUST WATCH! :)
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
food for thought
sometimes you try and try yet you fail to be, dont you fray cos you know you've tried. there are some things in life that you cant do - that's true, but that doesnt mean you shouldnt try cos you wouldnt know you cant do it if you never try.
expectations
in life, its inevitable to have expectations of yourself, which would amount to more stress and more motivation. it's not that expectations arent good stuff - sometimes they can be the motivators you need to move on to something else, they dont have to be the last straw that will make you explode. but for me, they have been more of a pain than gain. sometimes i wished i didnt have that many expectations of myself. it started from an innocent dream to a fervent wish, and that kinda drained me energy and strength to move on to other things.
if only i didnt have that many expectations of myself. i should have known my limits - there are just things i cannot do no matter how hard i try, but i still push myself to be responsible for all the consequences. i want to teach myself how to relax and see things from another angle - the slightly easier way out. i complicate things sometimes, it gets a little unbearable when i start paranoid over small things that are so trivial. take for example, my work. my colleague doesnt find the job stressful at all - and for that, i envy her. cos she can take her responsibilities in such a nonchalent manner - or rather, carefree manner - that she finds things easy to handle. that's the kind of happy-go-lucky spirit. if only i can do that. i just find myself bearing too many responsibilities. you can say i have a strong sense of responsibility. that can be my strength, and my ultimate weakness as all. life is short - i really shouldnt take myself out of my limits too often, cos that will just drain my life away.
if only i can let go of certain feelings and lost dreams more easily. sometimes i find myself getting obsessed over something i should have already let go - maybe it's just the perfectionistic streak in me. and i cant help it, cos its just me. im glad sometimes i know im a perfectionist - it lets me understand myself better, albeit the painful way. i relish the thought of understanding myself and finding myself, cos im often so brain-addled that i start getting all muddly-fuddly and lose all directions. its not wrong to be perfectionist. and its not our fault. some people can just make do with things they have, perfectionists want to make things they have the best they can have. the way we handle things are slightly different - and its not a bad thing completely. sure, way too perfectionistic and you get let down easily cos there are no such thing as perfect, but being perfectionist means u put in the best effort each time u try to accomplish something. which makes it a good thing, isnt it. its just that flaws in man are hard to cover. they are just glaring out. if only strengths in people can be emphasized more often, in that way perfectionistic streaks would cease to be dominant. if only we can realise our strengths earlier. if only strengths can be as glaring as weaknesses. that will make life so much easier.
if only everyone is truthful to their feelings, in that way, there wouldnt be regrets. some people ended up where they started out 10 year ago, and that is such a pity cos that will mean you've lost 10 years pursuing something that turned out nothing. its sad, isnt it. but we wouldnt know that 10 years ago right? so we still have to try, even if the outcome was nothing we would want. you wouldnt regret, cos you tried. you wouldnt have to spend the next 1o years wondering what would happen if you tried 20 years ago. in that way, you will lose 20 years. so its quite a curmulative thing. its give and take and you have to decide what you would want. conclusion is, you have to try no matter what. follow your heart - that's the most important. cos you've tried and no matter what the outcome is, you know you'll have no regrets. that's just life, isnt it. you just have to try for everything. dont live to regret - choose what you really want, not what others want of you.
if only i didnt have that many expectations of myself. i should have known my limits - there are just things i cannot do no matter how hard i try, but i still push myself to be responsible for all the consequences. i want to teach myself how to relax and see things from another angle - the slightly easier way out. i complicate things sometimes, it gets a little unbearable when i start paranoid over small things that are so trivial. take for example, my work. my colleague doesnt find the job stressful at all - and for that, i envy her. cos she can take her responsibilities in such a nonchalent manner - or rather, carefree manner - that she finds things easy to handle. that's the kind of happy-go-lucky spirit. if only i can do that. i just find myself bearing too many responsibilities. you can say i have a strong sense of responsibility. that can be my strength, and my ultimate weakness as all. life is short - i really shouldnt take myself out of my limits too often, cos that will just drain my life away.
if only i can let go of certain feelings and lost dreams more easily. sometimes i find myself getting obsessed over something i should have already let go - maybe it's just the perfectionistic streak in me. and i cant help it, cos its just me. im glad sometimes i know im a perfectionist - it lets me understand myself better, albeit the painful way. i relish the thought of understanding myself and finding myself, cos im often so brain-addled that i start getting all muddly-fuddly and lose all directions. its not wrong to be perfectionist. and its not our fault. some people can just make do with things they have, perfectionists want to make things they have the best they can have. the way we handle things are slightly different - and its not a bad thing completely. sure, way too perfectionistic and you get let down easily cos there are no such thing as perfect, but being perfectionist means u put in the best effort each time u try to accomplish something. which makes it a good thing, isnt it. its just that flaws in man are hard to cover. they are just glaring out. if only strengths in people can be emphasized more often, in that way perfectionistic streaks would cease to be dominant. if only we can realise our strengths earlier. if only strengths can be as glaring as weaknesses. that will make life so much easier.
if only everyone is truthful to their feelings, in that way, there wouldnt be regrets. some people ended up where they started out 10 year ago, and that is such a pity cos that will mean you've lost 10 years pursuing something that turned out nothing. its sad, isnt it. but we wouldnt know that 10 years ago right? so we still have to try, even if the outcome was nothing we would want. you wouldnt regret, cos you tried. you wouldnt have to spend the next 1o years wondering what would happen if you tried 20 years ago. in that way, you will lose 20 years. so its quite a curmulative thing. its give and take and you have to decide what you would want. conclusion is, you have to try no matter what. follow your heart - that's the most important. cos you've tried and no matter what the outcome is, you know you'll have no regrets. that's just life, isnt it. you just have to try for everything. dont live to regret - choose what you really want, not what others want of you.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
孙燕姿 咕嘰咕嘰
hee i really like bang bang tang AND GUESS WHAT i kinda like this dance hurrhurr its really weird but its just the kind u will feel happy after listening to it once. hahaha its a mood booster (and i really hope it applies to eveyone.)
we all deserve to have a nice day :)
Monday, April 16, 2007
the pain of rejection
the pain of rejection.
some people arent destined to face rejections, others have to face it like its the only constant in their lives. some people chose to run away from rejections, often thinking of alternative routes they think would lessen the pain. others chose to face it, that is life's biggest dilemma anyway.
i couldnt tell her i knew my colleague has already gotten into that university. i let her find it out on her own. she couldnt accept it i guess, going U.S has been her childhood dream. just like going UK was my childhood dream - no more, that is. i still want cambridge, but im a little deflated to challenge myself to apply to the university - im one of those escapists i mentioned just now, unable to face the rejection, i chose alternative routes to hide my weakness.
but is that wrong? i dont think so. if in the first place i knew of the rejections, i dont think its wrong to not even try. i knew trying would be fruitless - somehow - i know others will tell me, just try, c'mon, you will never know what's the outcome right? WHO KNOWS? but i just didnt want to try, you can say im timid, you can say im weak, the weakling who doesnt even DARE to try. but i know myself - i know im not the kind of person who wants big dreams. i have big dreams, but they will remain as dreams. cos those dreams arent necessarily what i wanted. its just not something a young girl should have. you can say im just too unconventional, but its what i want. i want a simple life, one without much frills, just one that's pleasant enough for me. i just need an ideal job, a new squeeze, a fantastic ring of friends and a mid-profile school life - and that's enough for me to handle. i already have a great ring of friends, and my junior college life was great. if my university life is as good as my jc school days, i think heaven has been good enough to me. i have a great family too, supportive parents and sisters, excellent aunties and uncles, brilliant cousins and so much more. life's good, what more can i ask for?
船到桥头自然直 - let's just take it easy :)
some people arent destined to face rejections, others have to face it like its the only constant in their lives. some people chose to run away from rejections, often thinking of alternative routes they think would lessen the pain. others chose to face it, that is life's biggest dilemma anyway.
i couldnt tell her i knew my colleague has already gotten into that university. i let her find it out on her own. she couldnt accept it i guess, going U.S has been her childhood dream. just like going UK was my childhood dream - no more, that is. i still want cambridge, but im a little deflated to challenge myself to apply to the university - im one of those escapists i mentioned just now, unable to face the rejection, i chose alternative routes to hide my weakness.
but is that wrong? i dont think so. if in the first place i knew of the rejections, i dont think its wrong to not even try. i knew trying would be fruitless - somehow - i know others will tell me, just try, c'mon, you will never know what's the outcome right? WHO KNOWS? but i just didnt want to try, you can say im timid, you can say im weak, the weakling who doesnt even DARE to try. but i know myself - i know im not the kind of person who wants big dreams. i have big dreams, but they will remain as dreams. cos those dreams arent necessarily what i wanted. its just not something a young girl should have. you can say im just too unconventional, but its what i want. i want a simple life, one without much frills, just one that's pleasant enough for me. i just need an ideal job, a new squeeze, a fantastic ring of friends and a mid-profile school life - and that's enough for me to handle. i already have a great ring of friends, and my junior college life was great. if my university life is as good as my jc school days, i think heaven has been good enough to me. i have a great family too, supportive parents and sisters, excellent aunties and uncles, brilliant cousins and so much more. life's good, what more can i ask for?
船到桥头自然直 - let's just take it easy :)
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