the pain of rejection

the pain of rejection.

some people arent destined to face rejections, others have to face it like its the only constant in their lives. some people chose to run away from rejections, often thinking of alternative routes they think would lessen the pain. others chose to face it, that is life's biggest dilemma anyway.

i couldnt tell her i knew my colleague has already gotten into that university. i let her find it out on her own. she couldnt accept it i guess, going U.S has been her childhood dream. just like going UK was my childhood dream - no more, that is. i still want cambridge, but im a little deflated to challenge myself to apply to the university - im one of those escapists i mentioned just now, unable to face the rejection, i chose alternative routes to hide my weakness.

but is that wrong? i dont think so. if in the first place i knew of the rejections, i dont think its wrong to not even try. i knew trying would be fruitless - somehow - i know others will tell me, just try, c'mon, you will never know what's the outcome right? WHO KNOWS? but i just didnt want to try, you can say im timid, you can say im weak, the weakling who doesnt even DARE to try. but i know myself - i know im not the kind of person who wants big dreams. i have big dreams, but they will remain as dreams. cos those dreams arent necessarily what i wanted. its just not something a young girl should have. you can say im just too unconventional, but its what i want. i want a simple life, one without much frills, just one that's pleasant enough for me. i just need an ideal job, a new squeeze, a fantastic ring of friends and a mid-profile school life - and that's enough for me to handle. i already have a great ring of friends, and my junior college life was great. if my university life is as good as my jc school days, i think heaven has been good enough to me. i have a great family too, supportive parents and sisters, excellent aunties and uncles, brilliant cousins and so much more. life's good, what more can i ask for?

船到桥头自然直 - let's just take it easy :)